In a bizarre turn of events, singer-songwriter Brocarde from Oxfordshire has come forward with a haunting tale of love, divorce, and ghostly stalking. Brocarde’s otherworldly odyssey began in late 2021 when she claimed to have fallen in love with Edwardo, the apparition of a Victorian soldier, who mysteriously manifested in her home.
Approximately a year later, Brocarde announced that she and Edwardo had tied the spectral knot, making their union official. However, the relationship took a chilling turn when Brocarde accused the ethereal Edwardo of infidelity, prompting her to call in an exorcist to sever their supernatural bond.
Convinced that Edwardo had been banished from her life, Brocarde treated herself to a trip to France in search of a fresh start. While exploring the City of Love, she encountered another ghostly suitor named Fabienne near the iconic Eiffel Tower. Little did she know, her newfound love interest was not what it seemed.
Brocarde recounted the eerie encounter, saying, “I was walking down the banks of the river Seine, chasing the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, cowing under my umbrella as raindrops poured off it, and then it struck me, glistening in a puddle – the reflection of a French man. I tilted my umbrella back, but nobody was around. I looked back towards the puddle, and the man was clear as the ocean.”
Thinking she had found a romantic connection, Brocarde began to embrace her holiday romance with the mysterious Fabienne. However, her happiness was short-lived when Fabienne later revealed himself to be none other than Edwardo in disguise. Brocarde felt deceived, exclaiming, “I couldn’t believe I’d been catfished by a ghost.”
As Brocarde attempted to move on with her life, she decided to date living, breathing men. Edwardo, however, was not pleased with her newfound interest in the living. “I cautiously started to go on dates with living humans,” she explained. “I returned home from a date with a bunch of flowers, and Edwardo thought it would be amusing to pull the heads off all of the roses and scatter the petals on my bed.”
Edwardo’s jealousy took on more sinister forms, as he began to display eerie behaviors. Brocarde shared, “He’s even learned to play Careless Whisper on the saxophone – I mean, at least I think it’s him, the sound echoes in the distance sometimes when I’m taking a bath in candlelight.”
Desperate to win back her affections, Edwardo underwent a startling transformation. Brocarde described her shock, saying, “He’s even given himself a modern makeover and presented himself as a Ken doll. I thought I was going crazy when the image of him with cropped blond hair and a pink suit appeared.”
Seeking guidance, Brocarde consulted a medium who delivered an unsettling revelation. “A medium told me Edwardo would always be with me,” Brocarde confessed, “and that’s a thought that I can’t come to terms with.”
Despite her struggle to rid herself of Edwardo’s spectral presence, Brocarde remains resolute in her pursuit of a more conventional love life. She concluded, “Moving forward, I feel like I need a bit of flesh on my bones. Skeletons and dead men may seem hot, but in reality, they are stone cold, unpredictable, and scary.”
Brocarde’s harrowing ordeal serves as a chilling reminder that love, even in the afterlife, can be hauntingly complicated.